Have you ever wondered why God didn’t give us more specific instructions for how to date and find a mate? It can often be a confusing process riddled with questions:
- Should I date or should I wait?
- When will I know the person is ‘the one’?
- Is dating wrong if it doesn’t end in marriage?
All these questions, and more, inevitably come up as we seek to live out our relational lives as followers of Christ. Though I am married now, one Old Testament story offered some helpful insights into my own journey of dating and I want to share it with you now.
After the Lord leads the Israelites out of Egypt and puts Moses in charge of taking them to the land promised to them, they get to a point where the Lord says:
“Send some men to explore the land of Canaan, which I am giving to the Israelites”
Numbers 13:1-2a
One leader from each of the twelve ancestral tribes was chosen to go on this adventure of exploration to seek out the potential of a place to live. Moses encouraged them to study the land and make observations of what they saw by asking a series of detailed questions:
“Go up…and see what the land is like and whether the people who live there are strong or weak, few or many. What kind of land do they live in? Is it good or bad? What kind of towns do they live in? Are they unwalled or fortified? How is the soil? Is it fertile or poor? Are there trees in it or not?”
Numbers 13:17b-20a
What is interesting in this story is that God knew what His will already was before He sent the tribal leaders out to explore. So why would God send them out if He already knew what was going to happen?
My guess it is because God revels in the participation of His people. He invites us to partake in His divine will. And that means that often we are sent to explore situations in life that entail us to watch, experience, observe and gather information so that we can prayerfully discern the outcome of God’s will, as the Israelites did.
Are you seeing the parallel?
Just like the Israelites, God may send us out to “explore” the territory of another human soul. While God knows the other person just as intimately as He knows us, He rarely tells us the outcome ahead of time. He calls us and commands us to embrace the hard work of the process—along with the risk and mystery it entails—of exploration. But that’s not all. Consider how the following insights extracted from this passage can be applied to our dating lives:
- God gives the green light to begin any exploration
- There are specific questions to ask in the exploration phase
- No exploration is to be undertaken alone
- Every exploration has a shelf life
- We need help interpreting the information gathered during an exploration
- Every exploration can bear fruit, even if it does not result in permanence
Dating, like the exploration of the Israelites, is not meant to be dangerous in and of itself. It is simply being obedient to God’s sending us out to investigate the “land” of another soul. Are you ready for a season of exploration? It could be a relationship or a completely different arena of life all together. Whatever it may be, bring your heart’s desires to God and He will be faithful to guide you to the center of His will…step by step.